This was the very first song that came on in the car when I went to take my kids to gymnastics. How freaking appropriate is this? Love who you are. Stop trying to please others or find approval in others. This song is contagious! No wonder it’s number one on the charts right now. Awesome message!
So watch out…..cuz I am living my life for ME….like it or not, it isn’t for you. If you don’t like what I am doing… work on your own life. We are who we are. Embrace it, make the best of yourself, and rock out!
Be thankful for where you are and what you’ve got!
(Rihanna): You’re gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy car-ars. And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far. Cause everyone knows, who you are-are. So live your life, ay ay ay. Instead of chasing that paper. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Ain’t got no time for no haters. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. No telling where it’ll take you. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Cause I’m a paper chaser. Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh) Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh)
(T.I.): Nevermind what haters say, ignore em ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungreatful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paid the way, for you cats to get paid today. You’d still be wasting days away, now had I never saved the day. Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way. I never been a hater still I love them in a crazy way. Some say they sold yah and no they couldn’t even work on Labor day. It aint that they black or white, their hands in areas the shades of grey. I’m West side anyway, even if I left today and stayed away. Some move away to make a way not move away cause they afraid. I brought back to the hood and all you ever did was take away. I pray for patience but they make me want to melt their face away. Like I once made them spray, now I could make em put the k’s away. Been thuggin’ all my life, can’t say I don’t deserve to take a break. your would rather see me catch a case and watch my future fade away.
(Rihanna): You’re gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy car-ars. And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far. Cause everyone knows, who you are-are. So live your life, ay ay ay. Instead of chasing that paper. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Ain’t got no time for no haters Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. No telling where it’ll take you. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Cause I’m a paper chaser. Just living my life.
(T.I.): I’m the opposite of moderate, immaculately polished with the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid. Allergic to the counterfeit, impartial to the politics. Articulate but still I’ll grab a nigga by the collar quick. Whoever having problems with their record sales just holla ‘tip. If that don’t work and all else fails, then turn around and follow ‘tip. I got love for the game but ay I’m not in love with all of it. Could do without the fame and rappers nowadays are comically. The hootin’ and the hollerin’, back and forth with the arguing. Where you from, who you know, what you make and what kind of car you in. Seems as though you lost sight of whats important when depositing them checks into your bank account and you up out of poverty. Your values is in disarray, prioritizing horribly. Unhappy with the riches cause you piss poor morally. Ignoring all prior advice and fore warning. And we mighty full of ourselves all of a sudden, aren’t we?
(Rihanna): You’re gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy car-ars. And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far. Cause everyone knows, who you are-are. So live your life, ay ay ay. Instead of chasing that paper. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Ain’t got no time for no haters Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. No telling where it’ll take you. Just live your life (Oh!), ay ay ay. Cause I’m a paper chaser. Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh) Just living my life (ay), my life (oh), my life (ay), my life (oh)
Got everybody watchin what I do Come walk in my shoes And see the way I’m livin if you really want to Got my mind on my money And I’m not goin nowhere So keep on gettin your paper And keep on climbing Look in the mirror and keep on shining Till the game ends, till the clock stops We gon’ post up on the top spot Livin the life, the life In a brand new city got my whole team with me The life, my life I do what I wanna do I’m livin my life, my life I will never lose, I’m livin my life, my life And I’m not stopping
It is scientifically IMPOSSIBLE to be depressed and grateful at the same time! Think about that every time you are feeling blue. Shift your focus on what you have. It’s another way of taking an inventory of your life and discovering what you do have. This is perfect to do once a life detox has taken place. The garbage is gone, now let’s see the good stuff .
Thanksgiving is coming around the corner and rather than stuffing my face with food, I’m filling up my soul with thanks. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is the only time I reflect on the things I am thankful for. I keep a daily gratitude journal. I write in it almost every night before I fall asleep. It makes for an easy transition into sleep and beautiful dreams.
I think of the things that would affect me if they disappeared from my life tomorrow. Here are my top 10 ranked
Devastated 1. My kids 2. Their father… if I had a romantic partner he’d be here too! 3. My family 4. My friends 5. My pets 6. My clients 7. My health & well being (I suppose this should be number one, since it affects how I am able to relate and contribute to those listed above.)
Big Time Bummers 8. My home 9. My car 10. My journals, home videos, and photographs
OK, OK….I know I said ten, but I had to throw this in there too.
Conveniences 11. The Internet, my computer & cell phone (Funny, because these are just means to stay connected to the relationships mentioned above. )
These are the things I really need to nurture and really remember to appreciate. I know that all those things I mentioned above are not permanent. I will eventually lose them all. EVERYTHING! It makes me think….am I really enjoying them? Am I really making the most of them. Do they know how much I care?
On the other hand, I feel less of a need for other materialistic belongings. I mean really, if I have all the above listed things in my life, the extra “stuff” just might be a distraction or clutter in my life. Truth is, we only use about 20% of what we own. Back to purging! Living light inspires the soul.
Ten More Things I Am Thankful For 1. The experience of Motherhood & being a woman 2. Living during these times & technology 3. My knowledge and experiences 4. My health, beauty, energy, able body 5. My dreams and direction 6. A connection to a higher power & sense of self 7. Living in safety, where the sun shines and the weather is warm 8. My time 9. Being well received by others 10. Unlimited Potential
What about being grateful for the hardships and life challenges?
5 Challenges that I overcame & made me who I am today. 1. Poverty & Abuse 2. Shoplifting 3. Exotic dancing 4. Failed relationships 5. Single motherhood
5 Current Challenges I am experiencing today & being thankful for the opportunity to grow & learn from them. 1. Financial burdens… I want to live free from financial obligations 2. Weight gain…. I want to feel secure in my own skin and celebrate physical health 3. Self esteem….I want to feel confident in who I am and what I am capable of 4. Discipline & Focus…I want to stay on task so I can experience the things in life that really matter most to me. 5. Being single… I want to grow and share life with a life partner.
So, now that I had a clear slate, it was time to fill up my life with the things that positively contributed to my well being. It’s funny what you experience when you break down years of conditioning. I felt alive, on purpose and in love with life. The more I did what I said I would do, the more my self empowerment grew.
The Shift in My Thoughts I felt inspired to write. I have always been a person who journals, but I felt an even stronger desire to write. It brought a sense of clarity. I found that I would often soothe my own concerns just by writing them down. I wrote about my new thoughts and my new direction in life. I felt that the world was mine to explore and anything was possible. I had many insightful experiences and I kept a notebook next to my bed to jot down what I felt compelled to write. I wrote so much that I filled several binders. To this day I wonder if I will ever publish them.
The Shift in My Awareness I have a book called Power Vs Force. Before, I would never really be able to FEEL the highest levels of consciousness. I could read the description, but there was no connection with it. Then during one of my days in solitude I read the levels from lowest to highest. It took me through each emotion and when I read the enlightenment description I was swelling, I felt like I was going to burst. Tears of euphoria were streaming down my face and the closest description I can give that I felt at that time was like a drawn out orgasm.
The Shift in My Perception I became very sensual. Life slowed down. I noticed everything! I utilized my senses and observed the weather, the plants, the smells, the feel of various textures, beautiful music and images. I remember feeling so lucky to be alive.
The Shift in my Diet I experienced phases of fasting that went on over a period of 4-6 months. It was almost automatic, I didn’t think about it. If the inspiration to do something arose, I did it immediately. My thought never entered the process. Purification felt effortless and a pleasure. I envisioned my body dumping any past baggage. I drank tons of herbal tea. Hydration was my focus. I wanted to keep my liver clean so my teas were mainly milk thistle and dandelion, as well as blends of herbs for detoxification. I made sure I was eliminating too so I drank salt water in the morning or I took an herbal laxative before bed. Looking back, I realize I drank about 2 gallons of liquid a day. I suppose that is why I was able to drop from weighing 119 to 108 in no time.
When I did eat, I consumed mostly fruits and veggies, some steamed and some raw. I was still eating a whole food diet versus vegetarian or anything like that in the beginning. My meals were large plates of veggies or a snack of a green drink and trail mix. When I ate I set the timer for 20 minutes and made sure I stretched out my meal to last that long. I became a very good eater. I chewed until the food was liquid. I looked closely at every bite, swirled the food in my mouth to feel the texture and taste the flavors of the food. I did everything I could to slow down my eating. I ate to remove hunger rather than to feel full. I reminded myself that my stomach was only the size of my fist and there was no need to stretch it out. I engaged in proper table etiquette and conversation with my children. I became an immaculate eater.
The Shift in My Sleep During the times of extended fasting or very light eating I noticed that my sleep shifted to rest. I found that I was drawn to sleep under the moon and stars. Since I wasn’t wanting to sleep outside in my backyard, I would open the blinds to my French doors of my bedroom and let the moonlight fill my room. I would gaze at the stars before falling asleep after purging all my gratitude in my journal. I would close my eyes. I then felt like my body was heavy and still like it was totally asleep, but I felt totally alert. I could see myself from above looking down on my body. It was almost as if I was watching myself sleep. I was totally aware of all that was going on around me. It was as if my subconscious was being a security guard for me. I no longer wanted to sleep on my side. I wanted my chest to be facing the sky. I just felt like my heart needed to face up. I slept very little, maybe 3 hours a night. This went on for months. My body felt totally rested even though before I slept about 9 hours a night. My rest changed back to sleep when my diet changed and I began to consume more calories.
I practiced full resting at least one day a week. I used this time to reflect on my week. I understood that doing less was more. No need in spinning my wheels without a direction. I wouldn’t speak to anyone nor would I do anything very active.
The Shift in My Workouts I took up an intense and regular power yoga practice. I attended Bryan Kest’s 2 hour long power yoga class every Sunday. It was my “church”. Since it was a drive for me, I would listen to inspirational books or seminars on CD. I thrived on the energy of the class. Sometimes, I would experience such gratitude in relaxation pose that I would be brought to tears. It was euphoria. I was caught off guard, but it felt beautiful. I learned about meditation, affirmations, mantras, and the pleasure of silence. This was heaven for me because I finally was learning how to break the addiction of thoughts and just be at peace.
Physical Touch I also became diligent about receiving regular weekly massage. It filled that touch void that I was so addicted to in a romantic relationship. I have always been very physical my entire life, whether it was through gymnastics or other sports or through romantic encounters. So, being without a man for the first time in a long time was a huge shift. I swear receiving massages alone kept be from jumping into the sack with a man out of need for touch. I would get goosebumps every massage. I knew it was filling that need for me. I also found that I felt amazing after petting my cat or dog or cuddling with my kids more during bedtime stories. I learned I can enjoy touch without the sexual energy behind it. I hugged my friends more too.
The Shift in Relationships I started treating myself the way I expected a man to treat me. I dated myself! If I wanted to do something, I did it alone. It was awkward at first to go to a movie or a restaurant alone, but after a while it felt amazing. I no longer needed someone to do nice things for me. I could do them for myself. That was transformational because in the past if a man didn’t do them for me I went without. I enjoyed conversations with men, but I was sure to leave it at that. I didn’t want to be co-dependent or jump in the bed with anyone too soon, so I kept the sexual aspect out of it. Plus, I wasn’t fully healed from the break up of my ex. I don’t think he was either, because we continued to interact for over 7 months after our break up. It was a time for us to mend our wounds with each other so we could move on and have more to offer to our future partners.
I started treating everyone I encountered the same. In Santa Monica there would be lots of homeless people. I would smile at them and I felt like I could see into their soul.I saw through the exterior. I felt like I connected so deeply in a non verbal way. I noticed I no longer felt fearful of people or danger. I would speak kindly to everyone and treat them as though I was speaking to someone I held in high regard. I felt like treating people like royalty. I became a very generous person. I became very trusting and compassionate.
I woulds say over and over, ” I am the highlight of someone else’s day”. I would be sure to dazzle others with kindness and generosity. I made it a point to be pleasant to every person I encountered, even if it was just a smile.
Once I cleared my life out I found plenty of free time to invest in myself. I mentioned in the video I listened to several books on CD while I was cleaning out my house or getting ready to see clients, on my drives to yoga class, and so forth.
I didn’t have anyone in person to guide me so I used these materials to keep me going in a direction that was more positive.
I began to take responsibility for my life and where I was. I affirmed to myself that I was brave, bold and adventuresome. I was determined to make a U turn in the direction of my life and get back on track with where I saw myself. I knew I had potential. It was a matter of discovering it.
I realized everything was a reflection of me. If it was in my life and I didn’t like it, then it needed to go. It was time to rise from the ashes and make something for myself. But first I needed to CLEAN HOUSE and get everything out of my life so that I had room to fill up on the good stuff.
I went through every nook and cranny of my materialistic belongings. My clothes, makeup, toiletries, pantry, collection of books, DVDs, CDs , etc. I scoured my home while I scoured my body.
I began fasting. I just felt like cleaning the garbage out of my body too. I made sure my liver and colon were pristine. Then once all the food was out of my house. I decided I deserved the best. I no longer wanted to eat anything from a can or box. Processed and packaged food wasn’t fit for this body. The more I saw my body emulate the ideal version of me the more excited I was about nourishing it properly.
I even cleaned up the way I spoke. I honored the absent and spoke as though the person I was talking about was standing right next to me. I wouldn’t allow myself to speak poorly of anyone. I refrained from swearing and using words that were not worthy of the highest.
I stopped lying. I realized that if I felt I had to lie that I was doing things that I didn’t like. I also knew that lying was not accepting myself and it was only a reflection of that. This included little white lies. Besides, I didn’t want to attract liars in my life and I would ifI lied myself.
I detoxed all of my beliefs. I no longer accepted anything that I had been taught from religion, to limitations, to rules. I felt that I no longer was limited by time, energy, space or matter. There were no rules. I took on the attitude suggested by Wayne Dyer, ” Nobody knows enough to be a pessimist”.
I ditched my negative complaining about myself and others. I also stopped allowing others to dump their dis empowered drama on me. I didn’t want to hear how they were victims in their life. I didn’t want to listen to it. I straight out said, ” Don’t you have better things going on in your life to talk about this?” I told them that this was the last bitch session and to start talking about all the things that were going right for them. I was only allowing them to attract more crap into their life by listening to it.
I started putting more attention into my appearance. I acted as though I needed to be prepared for meeting people I wanted in my life. If I looked a mess, it just reflected that I was a mess inside. Same for my home. I kept it immaculate, as though if someone I highly admired was to knock at my door at any given moment. It was about being prepared for good to come.
OK, I wanted to lay low on the fruit, but it seems the most appealing way to get my kids to love the greens. This was a simple smoothie recipe that we normally made, with a young thai coconut, banana and strawberries, but this time we added one bunch of spinach. IT WORKED! I feel much more optimistic about my kids completing the challenge now. WHEW!
If you are running through life feeling overwhelmed and not really making the impact you know you want, or wishing you felt alive and filled with passion then you are going to LOVE me!
